10 university studies that never should have been funded
by Jonathan Fields | 04/17/08
Don’t get me wrong, I am a total research whore hound.
I’ve got Google Alerts on Google Alerts for studies that keep me in the know on everything from yoga to entrepreneurship to music.
But, not too infrequently, I come across an abstract of a study that leaves me scratching my head, wondering, “dude, did you seriously have to spend a bazillion friggin dollars to prove what is already patently obvious to a 3-year old?”
Now, of course, I could just keep all these ridiculously self-evident studies to myself, but where’s the fun in that? So, without further ado, here is my list of…
Top 10 total waste of money studies (warning - if you have even the slightest concern about losing vital minutes of your life, do not read on, I said stop, hey do NOT read this list!)
- Talking on your cell-phone AFTER you go to bed makes you tired the next day You mean, if your teenage daughter stays up all night talking on her cell-phone under the covers, she might be, oh, just a bit edgy the next day? Nahhhhh!
- Resistance to the siren taunt of chocolate is futile - Okay, so, this revolutionary study showed the more I think about chocolate, the more I have to have it. Mindblowing!
- Laughing makes you feel yummier - Dang, I never would’ve guessed! Better yet…
- Even thinking about funny stuff makes you feel better and, you’ll really never believe that…
- Laughter is a tool that can be used for good or evil - Holy cow, I never knew you could actually laugh with OR at people. Man, that explains so much about my childhood!
- Laughing triggers asthma - Yes, this is real news, BUT it falls into the “so, what the heck am I supposed to do with that information” category? Hmmm, maybe stay away from funny people and try to be unhappy as much as possible?. Okay, enough with the laughter research.
- Night-shift nurses have poor sleep habits - Don’t really know where to begin with this one.
- People had more nightmares after 9-11 -Being a NYer, this really shocked me.
- Playing with puppies makes you feel good, ’specially when you’re old or ill. Finally, evidence to back up the claim that they’re man’s best friend, I never would’ve believed it.
- Athletes perform better after a good night’s sleep - This one totally blew me away, so, if I read it right, they are actually saying that partying until 3am the night before the big game might not be such a good idea. I can’t wait to be armed with this one when my daughter is old enough.
Okay, I feel better now that I got that off my chest, wheeew! Especially after the hardcore (and rather fabulous) discussion around science, God, sprituality and religion from my last post.
Now, I know I am not the only who comes across ridiculous studies, so, two questions…
What do ya think of these and have you read any other ones we all need to know about?
Share your brilliance below!
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7 comments
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Comments
April 17th, 2008 | 8:43 am
Some of my favourites, thanks to Null Hypothesis:
Sneezing spreads germs - http://www.null-hypothesis.co.uk/science/straight-talking/bleedin-obvious/sneezing_germs_infection_hygiene
Adults speak differently to babies - http://www.null-hypothesis.co.uk/science/strange-but-true/bleedin-obvious/baby_talk_gurgle_self_evident
Bees like gardens - http://www.null-hypothesis.co.uk/science/straight-talking/bleedin-obvious/bumblebees_gardens_flowers_research_survey
April 17th, 2008 | 9:56 am
I recently read a study that examined why old-order Mennonites have very little heart disease. Hello? They don’t drive cars and they walk everywhere they go. I don’t suppose this amazingly healthy lifestyle has something to do with it?
April 17th, 2008 | 10:09 am
I bet those senile researchers didn’t know how it feels to laugh until they conducted the studies.
April 17th, 2008 | 11:12 pm
Hi Jonathan-
When I was in graduate school I noticed some studies that were so irrelevant that it seemed to be a complete waste of time and energy.
Mundane topics that some researchers had given their entire life to. It was hard to believe. It turned me off to academics in a major way.
April 18th, 2008 | 4:36 am
More to the point, how many research studies are so valuable that the money for them should be forcibly taken from people, rather than allowing those people to spend the money they earned in the way they would prefer? Or do you even realize that I’m talking about taxes?
April 18th, 2008 | 10:40 am
Some of those are hilarious, although I can actually see the value in some of them. It makes sense to me that night-nurses could have good sleep habits if they got a good “night’s” sleep during the day. And I can see how the suppressing of thoughts making them more prominent might not be obvious to some people. But I’ll agree that most of those were pretty pointless.
April 18th, 2008 | 12:27 pm
These studies remind me of jokes we’d make in graduate school about research. We thought it would save a lot of time if we decided on our findings and recommendations first, then wrote hypotheses to match. I opted not to take this route, but I wonder how many did.
When it comes to studies that are a waste of time, none are more ridiculous than the medical studies that confirm what grandmothers across the world always knew: chicken soup has fantastic healing power.